I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
