haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
it's like iHOP with fire
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
