Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
