You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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