There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
