he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
