so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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