Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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