We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
