i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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