This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
