So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
