Fuck appropriateness.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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