: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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