Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize