Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
