come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Enjoy the penises
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize