girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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