is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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