she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
