Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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