I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
