my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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