I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
