Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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