dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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