It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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