So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
