oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
