weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
