Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
