i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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