Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize