Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
