My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
