after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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