Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
