Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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