i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
