You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
