I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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