I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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