I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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