its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
