i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
