He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
