No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize