I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
