Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
