moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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