Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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