You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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