Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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