Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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