Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
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