my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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