I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
