At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
