We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
