D3 body, D1 cock
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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