If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
