another moral hangover. fuck.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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