I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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