No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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