Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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