What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
