she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
