U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
