i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
