idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
this beer tastes like vomit already
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
