i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
